Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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