you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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