Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
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