Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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