you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
