i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
