2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
