But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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