She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
