he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
