She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Randomize
