She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
