Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
