all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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