HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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