the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
