I should be sponsored by Trojan
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
