we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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