I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
