Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
