Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
