would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
