I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
