So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
