i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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