Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
