I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
