I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
