shes about as inviting as chlamydia
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
