Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
