I saw his package. It spoke to me.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
