How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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