Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
