I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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