watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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