Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
