Welp...herpes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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