where am i from again
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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