I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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