I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
