I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize