Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
