Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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