and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
