can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
