and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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