we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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