Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
