jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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