Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
