Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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