Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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