We need to start having sex underwater more often.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
