Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
