At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
