'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
